The Spice of Life
by SurferSquid
Summary: Have some cute domestic drabble, why don't you. (Or: Winn bakes a cake.) (Or: Everybody in Clan Excelsior gets at least one line of dialogue.)


I tend to start my anecdotes by telling you the time of year. Why? I dunno. It's evocative, I guess. I like the changing seasons—especially because where I came from on Earth, a crazy place called San Diego, we never got much temperature variation.

In Jylland, nestled in the temperate regions of southern Ivalice, I actually get to watch leaves change color and snow fall. It's great.

Take, for instance, the glorious day in Mistleaf I'm about to relate to you. Autumn had erupted in full splendor: the air was crisp, the sea gray and wreathed in fog, and our fortress's dining tables covered in the bounties of our trading partners' harvests. What a day to be alive.

Also it was my husband Qrrog's birthday. So I was even more enthusiastic about life than usual.

"What did you get him, kupo?" Winn asked as I watched the moogle flit around the enormous castle kitchen.

I leaned against the counter and ran a hand through my tawny mane of hair. "Uhh…"

Winn paused in the middle of pulling a bowl out of a cupboard. "You didn't get him anything, kupo?"

"I couldn't think of anything to get him!" I protested. "The man's notoriously difficult to shop for! What am I supposed to do, drop by Goug and buy some battleaxe polish?"

"Did you ask him what he wanted, kupo?"

I shifted my weight. "Yeah, and he said all he wanted was a trip to Graszton with me."

"But you guys go on trips all the time, kupo," Winn groaned.

"Yeah, that's what you do when you're married: spend time with each other." I stuck my tongue out at her, then frowned. "But he got me books for my birthday last month, so I feel super guilty basically making him spend more money for his own birthday."

"He's kind of the Pirate King," Coele pointed out from her seat on one of the counters. The gria twisted a lock of her pink hair around her finger absently. "We don't exactly have financial problems."

"That's part of why it makes it so difficult to buy gifts for him," I said, gesturing for emphasis. "What do you get the seeq who has everything?"

Winn climbed onto a stepping stool to place the bowl on the counter. "Which is why I'm baking him a cake, kupo!"

Coele's dragon tail lolled lazily behind her. "I didn't know you could bake!"

The moogle pulled open a bag of flour and consulted her recipe card. "I like baking, kupo. It's a lot like engineering. You follow the blueprint based on reliably tested physics and chemistry, kupo," she said as she measured the flour into the bowl, "and kupopo! Effective results!"

I laughed. "So what kind of cake are you making him?"

Winn reached for the eggs. "Well—I asked him what his favorite kind was, kupo, and he said he would eat literally anything."

A velvety voice cut in with a snicker. "That does not surprise me." Saskia stood leaning against one of the counters, a wry smirk on her viera face.

"Exactly," I moaned. "See why he's so hard to shop for? He's just so darn _nice_. And not at all picky."

"Oh, boo-kupo-hoo," Winn muttered with a teasing grin. She turned to look around the kitchen at the three of us. "And why do I suddenly have an audience, kupo?"

Saskia folded her arms, her dark eyes glittering with mirth. "Well, someone has to help you reach the high shelves."

The diminutive moogle scowled. "Kupopo! I've got _wings!_ " She jabbed a finger at the purple appendages sprouting from her back, which she flapped in irritation.

We all laughed.

Grumbling under her breath, Winn turned back to her latest creation. "I'm making a spice cake. With cinnamon frosting."

"Ooh, that sounds awesome," I said. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes, kupo." Winn reached over and handed me the recipe card. "Go to the larder and get me the spices listed here, kupo. And some butter."

I nodded. "You got it. Saskia—I might need your help with the high shelves."

The viera chuckled and followed me to the vast storage pantry. "Of course, little hume."

The three of us ended up pitching in and helping Winn with her cake. I figured it was the least I could do for my husband, even though I was still severely guilt tripping. Winn turned out to be a pretty decent baker, although rather slapdash in her methods—which is to say we were all covered in flour and cinnamon by the time we put the thing in the oven. And Coele wouldn't stop eating the frosting, so Winn only had enough to ice the top of the cake.

Still, aside from that, there were no comical mishaps or ironic twists or surprise adventures this time around. I guess you can't win 'em all. Some days just turn out to be normal.

That evening, after dinner in the great hall, we presented Qrrog with his cake. Our clan clustered around him at one of the tables, and the rest of his pirate subjects crowded around us, yelling cheers and well-wishes to their king. Living with a bunch of pirates gets to be a little unnerving sometimes, but it's far from the strangest thing about my life. I feel like the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

"A right beautiful cake, that is," Qrrog's quartermaster Jihl said. The revgaji was hanging over a chair backwards, the target of his smile moving from the cake to Saskia, who sat across from him.

The viera blushed. "Somehow I doubt you are speaking entirely of the cake."

Qrrog reached over and ruffled the tuft of fur on Winn's head. "Aye, it's a feast fer the eyes alone, kiddo!" he said with one of his trademark bellowing laughs.

She beamed. "Well, it'll be a feast for the stomach too, kupo! Dig in!"

Qrrog cut himself a fat slice, picked it up in his hands, and ate half of it in one bite. His eyes closed in sheer bliss as he chewed. "Best cake I ever tasted!" Stopping for a moment to lick the crumbs from his jowls, he shoved the rest of the slice in his mouth and his contented smile remained. Once he swallowed, he looked over at Winn as he cut another slice. "You got quite the talent fer bakin' there, matey! Feel free to make me cakes whenever you like!"

Winn stood up in her chair and clapped her hands. "Really, kupopo? I'm so glad you like it, kupo! Happy birthday!"

"And thanks to all o' you fer helpin," Qrrog added, smiling at Saskia and Coele and squeezing my shoulder. "I couldn't think of a better birthday—" He paused and tapped his chin with one claw. "Well… there is _one_ thing…"

Jihl raised his eyebrows. "And that would be…?"

Qrrog grinned a wide, tusked grin, the kind that lets you know that a big blue boar-troll thinks you're his best friends in the whole world. "If you fine mateys shared this here amazin' cake with me!" And with that, he began dishing up slices of cake and passing them to all of his clanmates.

You can see why I love him so much.

"Scales, yer still on fer flyin' Brighteyes and me over to Graszton after this, right?" Qrrog asked as he handed a slice of cake to Vasily.

"Yeah, yeah," the bangaa said, taking the cake and sniffing at it. He nibbled it with the tip of his snout, then gave Winn a smile and started wolfing down larger chunks. "Nice work, pipssqueak! Real densse and moisst."

Winn grinned. She knew as well as I that meat was the bangaa's preferred diet. He didn't much care for sweets, but he didn't want to disappoint his little tinkering buddy.

"How long are you staying in Graszton?" Hesketh asked, accepting her slice of cake with a small smile. The old nu mou was not exactly fond of social events, but she felt she owed Qrrog enough to at least humor him on his birthday. "My wind-auguring shows a storm coming up from the south in a few days. Travel will be difficult then."

"We were thinking of staying through the weekend," I said. "I guess the storm might put a dent in that…"

Qrrog shook his head, his long ears flapping. "No way, Brighteyes! No cloud, no squall shall hinder us!" he seemed to quote from somewhere, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. Then he grinned and patted my head. "'Sides, I know how much you like storms."

"Well they're really cool!" I insisted. "So much thunder and lightning!"

My husband pressed his snout to my hair. "Sweetheart, if you like thunder and lightnin' so much, just ask me to cast a Thundara."

"Not indoors, you don't," Saskia said sternly, tapping a finger on the table.

We all looked at each other for a moment and burst out laughing.

Yep, just another day in the paradise called Ivalice, with my weird little family of a clan.


End file.
